Texts From Last Night

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  (408): View more from California

  How was your sisters wedding?

  (1-408): View more from California

  Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.

  (408): View more from California

  sisterhood ftl.

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  (408): How was your sisters wedding? (1-408): Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so. (408): sisterhood ftl. http://tfl.nu/zr4n
  Replies (33) Good night (576) Bad night (3510)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.

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  (405): I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation. http://tfl.nu/os3u
  Replies (13) Good night (4469) Bad night (1156)
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  (475): View more from Connecticut

  just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles

  (1-475): View more from Connecticut

  exact location. now.

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  (475): just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles (1-475): exact location. now. http://tfl.nu/2i9v
  Replies (26) Good night (1576) Bad night (3525)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?

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  (614): i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy? http://tfl.nu/94d5
  Replies (47) Good night (1121) Bad night (6643)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.

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  (630): my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out. http://tfl.nu/fs1q
  Replies (15) Good night (1256) Bad night (4729)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"

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  (314): he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting" http://tfl.nu/dmjy
  Replies (25) Good night (15443) Bad night (1325)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks

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  (813): So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks http://tfl.nu/x484
  Replies (13) Good night (5892) Bad night (837)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.

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  (403): I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway. http://tfl.nu/xqv3
  Replies (8) Good night (1282) Bad night (3484)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered

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  (646): but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered http://tfl.nu/sriz
  Replies (8) Good night (3458) Bad night (828)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit

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  (845): Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit http://tfl.nu/mhw5
  Replies (9) Good night (1930) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.

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  (601): He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT. http://tfl.nu/hra9
  Replies (23) Good night (2916) Bad night (688)
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  (530): View more from California

  .......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.

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  (530): .......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space. http://tfl.nu/f94k
  Replies (11) Good night (829) Bad night (1227)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.

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  (306): Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol. http://tfl.nu/3yus
  Replies (3) Good night (843) Bad night (238)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.

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  (614): Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission. http://tfl.nu/x97b
  Replies (2) Good night (454) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself

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  (570): This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself http://tfl.nu/5o6a
  Replies (0) Good night (195) Bad night (513)

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