Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
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Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
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You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?