When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her