Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."

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  (202): And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan." http://tfl.nu/9mrq
  Replies (17) Good night (2008) Bad night (755)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.

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  (603): I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome. http://tfl.nu/ibqv
  Replies (16) Good night (5630) Bad night (1397)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.

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  (502): there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me. http://tfl.nu/l22j
  Replies (11) Good night (4909) Bad night (1221)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.

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  (301): If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich. http://tfl.nu/u48k
  Replies (6) Good night (2921) Bad night (1028)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.

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  (+61): Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme. http://tfl.nu/6yp3
  Replies (14) Good night (2776) Bad night (1265)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.

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  (918): Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met. http://tfl.nu/7r98
  Replies (3) Good night (2485) Bad night (687)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night

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  (352): Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night http://tfl.nu/ez8j
  Replies (15) Good night (710) Bad night (1223)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.

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  (252): Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment. http://tfl.nu/wwwj
  Replies (5) Good night (1106) Bad night (542)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?

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  (920): there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room? http://tfl.nu/s38b
  Replies (8) Good night (620) Bad night (1318)
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  (408): View more from California

  Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.

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  (408): Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware. http://tfl.nu/gy46
  Replies (1) Good night (575) Bad night (883)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"

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  (757): Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos" http://tfl.nu/ucb4
  Replies (6) Good night (923) Bad night (335)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs

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  (320): Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs http://tfl.nu/s3ur
  Replies (4) Good night (494) Bad night (380)
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  (415): View more from California

  Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles

  (907): View more from Alaska

  How do you keep ending up in these situations?

  (415): View more from California

  My dad is their accountant

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  (415): Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles (907): How do you keep ending up in these situations? (415): My dad is their accountant http://tfl.nu/1r4v
  Replies (2) Good night (1124) Bad night (291)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.

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  (+44): Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room. http://tfl.nu/dcq0
  Replies (2) Good night (692) Bad night (240)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.

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  (602): After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me. http://tfl.nu/5z6y
  Replies (1) Good night (737) Bad night (240)

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