Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
