I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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