Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
