I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
