i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Dignity is for republicans.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
false alarm, still single
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