Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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