Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Randomize
