She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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