Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
