either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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