My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
