..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
