she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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