shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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