Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
