Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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