Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
did you just send me my own nude
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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