pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
