Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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