I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize