so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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