yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
