No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
