Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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