Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
