That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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