Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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