maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize