I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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