My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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