walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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