sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
