I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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