This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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