I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
