I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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