Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
