that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it