Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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