my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
my computer doesn't work...
i puked on it last night
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.