Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize