Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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