I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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