just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
