so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
