He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He? As in you personified your dick?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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