So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
