imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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