I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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