He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
