I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize