Do vagina's smell?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
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