My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
