Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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