i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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