Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
