I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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