she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I love having hate sex.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
