You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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