i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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