I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize