would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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