Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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