so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
