her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
