Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
No subtext here. People are naked.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
