return my video game
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
