I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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